What to do if your friend is suicidal- Part 1

What to do if your friend is suicidal- Part 1

If you know someone who has been struggling with suicidal thoughts or self harm thoughts, this video is for you!

Suicide can be a scary topic if you’re unfamiliar with it. Especially when someone you care about has expressed these thoughts.

So what do you do when you are worried? I break it down for you in this video, and also in PART 2!

Crisis hotlines have experienced an unprecedented increase in calls due to the major impact of the coronavirus on our world. See the CNN story here.

If you or someone you love is considering self harm or suicide, here are some resources: What to look out for: Check out National Institute of Mental Health signs list

From NIMH:

Call the National Suicide Prevention Lifeline (Lifeline) at 1-800-273-TALK (8255), or text the Crisis Text Line (text HELLO to 741741).

Both services are free and available 24 hours a day, seven days a week.

The deaf and hard of hearing can contact the Lifeline via TTY at 1-800-799-4889. All calls are confidential.

Contact social media outlets directly if you are concerned about a friend’s social media updates or dial 911 in an emergency.

Coping with your life during Covid-19

Coping with your life during Covid-19

The global pandemic of the coronavirus has us all reeling from the abrupt and intense changes in our world.

But lets focus on what you can control: YOU.

How to deal with Kobe Bryant’s Death

How to deal with Kobe Bryant’s Death

The news of a tragedy always impacts us in ways we don’t anticipate.

A horrific shooting, a celebrity death, or some other awful event makes us stop in our tracks. Its important for us to take a moment to understand our reactions to these events, because it can tell us a lot about ourselves.

Unresolved grief or trauma can resurrect itself in these random moments. Experiences that have affected us in the past will return and bring a double portion of emotions.

It is SO important to give yourself the space to FEEL your feelings, not just think them. Ask yourself what you’re feeling, where you feel it in your body, and what you need.

Giving a voice to your emotions is the first step in allowing them to heal.

We can’t control the things that happen, but we can control ourselves. Take some time today to recognize whats happening inside of you, and allow the sad or triggered or scared places to be brought to light.

This is a great time for you to reach out to someone you trust and talk about what you’re feeling. This person can be a therapist, trusted friend or mentor, a good pastor, or teacher.

There is no shame in what you feel. Tragedy should be mourned. But we need to also care for ourselves during that time.

Avoid Stress Over the Holidays

Avoid Stress Over the Holidays

‘Tis the season for interactions that make you feel 10 years old all over again, whether you’re stuck at the “kid’s table” or not.

I see my clients fall into two categories during this time of year. The first group is able to get into the Christmas spirit once they feel like they’ve got their stress under control, while the other group takes a clear “grit your teeth and bear it” stance.

The second group is just hoping to make it to January 2nd without a breakdown. If you feel like you might be falling into that second group, you may need to set some boundaries.

Boundaries

This is a way bigger topic than I can cover here, but for the purposes of holidays and family interactions with that one relative who always pushes your buttons…lets cover a few basics.

A boundary is not something you put in place for OTHER people. A boundary is what helps you know what you are comfortable with. Think of a boundary as “permission with parameters”. Here is an example:

Situation:

Cousin Maurice (fictitious) and I have different political views, and I don’t want to argue with him because that doesn’t make me feel relaxed or happy.

Unhealthy boundary example:

I avoid the family dinner entirely (passive) or go ahead and make my opinions known before he has the chance to argue (aggressive). Or maybe I tell everyone BEFORE this cousin arrives how I’m NOT going to let him “mess” with me this year (passive aggressive).

Health boundary:

I go to the family dinner prepared to be cordial and yet aware that I will NOT get into a political debate. Therefore, when Maurice baits me, I respond “I’m enjoying my evening too much to talk about politics Maurice, but tell me about how your dog is doing.” I’ve just communicated what I’m comfortable talking about (and what I’m not going to talk about) in an assertive manner.

Pro tip:

If Maurice pushes me on it, or won’t drop it, I continue to communicate assertively, i.e. “Not going to discuss politics tonight Maurice. Let me know when you want to talk about something else and I’d love to.” That’s holding my boundary.

Expectations

It’s important to have realistic expectations for yourself AND others during the holidays. I’ve learned that the old adage “Expectations kill relationships” is forever true.

Don’t expect other’s to magically know that you’re now attempting to communicate boundaries and practice being more assertive. They don’t know, and they probably have their own stuff to worry about.

So do everyone a favor and check your expectations at the door. You can only control you, so if you feel uncomfortable or cornered or pressured or overlooked, give yourself a quick break to check in with yourself.

What can you do that is within your control to hold your boundaries and manage your expectations this holiday season?

Grab the free download from Therapist Aid

Healthy Boundaries Tips (from Therapist Aid)Download

What to do if your friend is suicidal PART 2

What to do if your friend is suicidal PART 2

by | Jun 13, 2020 |

Suicidal thoughts are more common than many people realize. Sometimes they are fleeting, intrusive “escape” thoughts. Other times they become a plan with the intention to follow through on the plan. It is important to understand the difference between these two types...

What to do if your friend is suicidal- Part 1

What to do if your friend is suicidal- Part 1

by | Jun 13, 2020 |

If you know someone who has been struggling with suicidal thoughts or self harm thoughts, this video is for you! Suicide can be a scary topic if you're unfamiliar with it. Especially when someone you care about has expressed these thoughts. So what do you do when you...